At some point in life, we will all experience the death of a loved one. Death can be devastating and often leaves those left behind wondering how to cope with their grief. The passing of a loved one is never easy, but it can be made more bearable if you understand what your friend or family member may be feeling and experiencing. This article suggests ways on how to help someone who is grieving.
1) It’s okay not to know what to say — Everyone handles grief differently and has different needs during this time, so there’s no need for you to be embarrassed about asking, “How are you doing?” Just ask and let them talk, then listen without judgment or expectation that they should feel one way or another at any given time.
2) Be patient — As hard as it may be to watch someone you love suffer, please know that they are not “slowing down” on purpose. Sometimes grief has a mind of its own and is unpredictable, which can make it even more difficult for the person feeling this loss. Their behavior may appear erratic or unusual; however, this does not mean they don’t care about you or that they want to push you away.
3) Don’t avoid them — Although letting your loved one grieve in their own way is important, it’s also crucial to involve them in your daily activities (e.g., go out with friends or attend social gatherings) if they’re up for it. This will help distract them from the painful memories and give them a break from grieving.
4) Ask how you can help — You may have any suggestions on how they can move on, but those ideas might not be appropriate for your loved one now or in the future. If they don’t want to talk about it, ask them what is helpful to them. Maybe something as simple as doing their chores will make things easier (and less overwhelming) for them, enabling them to invest more energy into their own healing process.
5) Encourage positive thought — Some people find comfort in focusing on the positives of the person who has passed away (e.g., sharing stories with you about all of the great times they had together). It’s okay if this goes against your own beliefs; continue to support them without judging.
6) Visit the gravesite together — If it’s appropriate and they want you to come, this can be a powerful way to honor the person who has passed away and create even more memories during this difficult time.
7) Don’t take their feelings personally — Although it might be hard not to, try not to take things personally when they’re grieving; we all grieve in different ways and have our own processes. Again, ask them how you can help, so you don’t add any additional stress or burden for them.
In conclusion, how to help someone who is grieving is a complicated process that affects everyone uniquely. These are just some suggestions on what you can do to help someone who is grieving; however, keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. Your friend or family member will let you know what they need from you and when they’re ready for you to be there for them.
